Wedding is the most important step in lifeevery woman, and to approach the choice of a partner in life must be thoughtful and circumspect. However, young ladies are not always young, but sometimes older women are ready to listen to the call of the heart. The fact is that the call of the heart is often drowned out by the passion for material well-being - it is in such situations that marriages arise that later turn into big problems.
It should be noted that marriages by calculation are notexclusively a female feature - some men also consider marriage as a good way to improve their material well-being. But we must pay tribute to the representatives of the strong half of humanity: having properly weighed what is better - marriage for love or for convenience, in the majority they prefer the first option. Today, we will talk about whether a situation is possible in which marriages can be the basis for a long and happy family life.
Among young people and girls between the ages of 20 and30 years, according to polls of sociologists, there is an opinion that love is not at all an obligatory condition for marriage. Like, this is all the remnants of the past, and it is more important to the modern man to calculate and material benefit than some ephemeral love, which can not be touched with hands or put in a pocket. We will not touch on the moral side of this issue, but we will immediately note one very important point: young people simply do not realize how hard it is to live next to an unloved person, even if they have a full purse. A woman aged more mature, marrying by calculation, deliberately goes to life with an unloved person, and subconsciously feels like a victim. However, she does not understand that she herself is doing this sacrifice, and whether her marriage is calculated by a real family, or whether she remains a commercial transaction, depends only on her.
However, it would be wrong to say that marriagesby calculation always mean a notorious failure and an unfortunate family. By no means - and examples of many women confirm this. Sometimes it happens that a marriage, which from the very beginning was planned solely as a mutually beneficial transaction, later became something more than just living together for a while. Between the people there were those feelings, which in sight did not exist, when they put signatures in the register of marriages of the registry office. And as a result, their marriage became almost perfect, combining both material security and spiritual intimacy, without which a full-fledged family is impossible.
So how can you make marriage on the basis of marriagefor love? To answer this question, it is necessary to understand that love can not be "grafted" or forcefully driven into a partner. This feeling can appear only itself, without rough external influence, and the partner can promote its maturing, creating for the spouse the comfortable situation in the house and a family cosiness. And this is very difficult - you need to stop considering your spouse only as a source of material prosperity, and begin to see in him a person. For example, each person has his own little weaknesses - so why not spend a little time and not make your partner a pleasant one by presenting an unusual ashtray in his collection, or by buying two tickets for a concert of his beloved band. Obviously, these gifts will not require large material costs, but they can help create the feeling of closeness and spiritual comfort, without which family happiness is impossible.
Also, women who had the will of fate had toto marry by calculation, experts in the field of psychology of family relations recommend as little as possible to ask my husband for money. Otherwise, this action will clearly be associated with the mercantile nature of your relationship, and it will not lead to anything good. And vice versa - the more successfully you get a job and the more money you can invest in the family budget - the higher the probability that sooner or later your spouse will see in you not just a toy bought for money, but a woman with whom he wants to live his whole a life.
If you can not just followgiven recommendations, but also try to find common points of contact with your husband, then you can be sure that your children will look at marriages by calculation with surprise, without understanding how it is that someone has parents who do not love each other? And perhaps you will celebrate the anniversary of your wedding not on the day you signed in the registry office, but when you first fell asleep like a loving husband and wife.