In the period of becoming a person I really want toto see before him an example for imitation. It is absolutely logical - any person wants to have an authoritative image until, until you become complete and fully formed. How to be, if a teenager chooses for himself is not a good example? What to do when an adult needs such an idol? What is good and bad imitation? This is all and other issues we will consider in this post.
Imitation in childhood
If you have children, or you could watch the children of relatives or friends, then you probably noticed that often the kid wants to "be like everyone else."
Such imitation is a normal child reactionon the world in the period of growing up, when the peers are the model of appearance and behavior. Do not limit the child in his desire to be like other children, on the contrary, any prohibitions will cause misunderstanding.
Imitation in the adolescent period
The most acute issue of the role modelrises in the puberty period. This is the time when boys and girls identify themselves, but how individuals remain immature. It's great if older brothers or sisters, parents, become the authority. But we need to understand that the child is constantly in a social environment, and at school there will necessarily be those who look and behave "cool". For boys, these are guys who disdain the teachers and lessons, drink alcohol and smoke. For girls, an example for imitation is most often girls with a bright appearance, not without the help of cosmetics, dressing in open and sexy outfits and enjoying success with the guys. If your exemplary daughter suddenly completely changed the wardrobe to an unsuitable one, in your opinion, she has new, older than her, suitors - do not panic. But we should not step aside.
How to explain what is good and what is bad
Children are sensitive to the advice of those they respect.If you yourself smoke and foul language, but forbid doing the same to your child, do not wait for unconditional obedience. Moreover, be sure that you will not listen. If you consider yourself a good example for your child, you can from time to time conduct confidential conversations. But in no case do not read the notations and do not be what the child will find boring. Your morals should be gracefully disguised. For example, it can be stories from personal experience or the experience of your acquaintances.
Like that:"There was a girl in our class very similar to your Tanya, as bright as ever, with friends older than boys, and now, in the tenth grade, she got pregnant from a girl who gave birth to a child, but she did not get education. I saw her recently, she works in our market the saleswoman, looks awful. " Do not go beyond the conclusions, like "you see, you'll continue to equal it, it's still not known what will become of you", otherwise the child will instantly see through you. On the contrary, leave the story unfinished, let your child self summarize your "report" and take for yourself what is good and what is not.
When imitated by adults
Many believe that intentional imitation isthe prerogative of children or adolescents. No matter how it is! The most imitators are "adults", that is, those who are twenty before. The fact is that an undetermined child is normal. But a man who has gone through puberty, certainly must understand who he is! Not so simple. In the process of development, each of us, in any case, needs an example. If it was unsuccessful, we eventually become aware of this, because life will not develop according to our ideas, and the simplest way to change it will change itself. Again the question arises of finding an example, and then imitating others becomes the answer. We choose unconsciously someone from our acquaintances who seems to us to be successful, attractive, holistic, and just as unconsciously we begin to copy his style and way of life, beginning with insignificant habits and gait and finishing with appearance.
All other roles are occupied
Imitation is an opportunity to feelconfident in a world where there are no rules of life. What parents told us in childhood, the teacher, is refuted by our own experience of life. We listen to the advice of others, not do without it, but still, our life is not like anyone's else. All our successes, failures, happy days and the darkest of them - is the result of our behavior, and nobody's more. While you are looking at others and are looking for a worthy example to follow, your, not another person's life is passing. The only true thing that remains is to be yourself. However, how true this is, it is so difficult.
The most difficult and simplest thing is to be yourself
Why is it difficult to be yourself? The fact is that then you will have to bear full responsibility for all your actions. When you imitate others, intentionally or not, you shift some of the responsibility to these authorities. If something goes wrong in life, you can always say to yourself in comfort: "It's all because I took an example from the wrong person." Meanwhile, you can only be considered as a person if you are ready to be responsible for all your actions. It turns out, in adulthood, imitation is a way to escape responsibility, and nothing more.