The sense of guilt can be equated with an all-consuminga pathological human condition, under the influence of which serious moral oppression takes place. Mental torment, constant thoughts about what was done, regular torment in search of answers to questions hanging in the air - the catalyst for all this is precisely the constant feeling of guilt in front of everyone. How to get rid of oppressive sensations? And how to wrest from the subconscious the involvement in something irreparable?
The danger of guilt is dangerous
In order to understand how to get rid of feelingsguilt, you must first understand for yourself, what is the danger of this fraught feeling. It does not always come down on your head for nothing. The origins of this problem can be rooted in the distant past, where once some misdemeanors were committed, cowardice was shown, some injustice was made, which brought a moment of belated repentance in the form of remorse. A person begins to experience a subconscious transformation, a reassessment of views, a rethinking of what happened.
With increasing power, he is attacked by thoughtsin the form of obtrusive ideas with a subtext about the imputation of accusatory reproaches and reproaches of conscience. Gradually, a person becomes gloomy, thoughtful, often immersed in his thoughts, loses his appetite, spends more time alone, closes from society and begins to experience a standard pre-depressive apathy called a sense of guilt and shame before someone.
How to get rid of feelings of guilt and shame? What is the danger of the influence of these factors on the human subconscious?
- First, a person begins to lose vital energy - he is not able to fully work, function, exist in full force.
- Secondly, it loses its self-confidence as a personal unit - by daily mental punishments of itself, it experiences the first stages of degradation and drives itself into a deadlock.
- Thirdly, it stops communicating with others, ignoring the interest in everything that is happening - the surrounding sphere of activity completely ceases to interest the person who feels guilty.
- Fourth, he is subjected to a depressive state, which can lead to a nervous breakdown on the ground of total pessimistic oppression.
Realizing the danger of falling into such a kindstagnant moral and spiritual stupor, it is necessary to learn without fail how to get rid of feelings of guilt. The techniques of psychology, developed on the basis of the practical skills of skilled specialists and the experience of previous years, open the possibility of a gradual elimination from the subconscious of the blaming itself in all man, the eradication of guilty sensations in front of different people.
Wines before mother
One of the strongest destructiveA persistent feeling of guilt before the parents. How to get rid of a depressing illness? How to stop blaming myself for the blame for my mother - the best, beloved, dear woman in the whole world?
The theme is quite complex in its naturerequires certain explanations. The fact that the sense of guilt before the parents is laid down in childhood - it can occur consciously or unconsciously. A mother who could not conceive for a long time, with great difficulty, nevertheless achieved conception, endured and gave birth to her long-awaited child, then carefully protects him from external adversity, constantly holding the child under his mother's wing. She does not even consider the behavior model of an adult child, in principle, when there will be a choice before going to free swimming, moving away from her and starting to build her personal life and her own family with her children. At this stage, a child's involuntary or childlike manipulation begins: "you leave me," "you leave me alone," "I have grown you so hard, and you pay me so easy parting," and similar manipulative steps that plunge an adult the child in a state of insurmountable guilt before his parent.
How can I get rid of my guilt?
- To have a constant connection with her, daily reminding herself of her calls and periodic visits with her family and children.
- Every possible way to help, to give attention and to take part in solving its problems.
- Letting off the childish and youthful grievances, forgetting them forever.
- Help my mother and try to direct her thoughts,aspirations and actions in another direction: to enable her to forget about her withdrawal from her everyday life of everyday life, opening up new opportunities for her in the form of hobbies, hobbies, communication with her friends, long-awaited grandchildren, a new companion of life.
Wines before relatives
What to do if there is a conflict withrelatives? How to get rid of feelings of guilt before your loved ones? People often stop communicating with relatives because of some domestic problems or quarrels, which arise, mainly, on the basis of questions on the division of property and similar unpleasant dilemmas. Another model of discord between close ones is possible: the older sister feels guilty before the younger for the fact that her parents place more hope on her, give her more attention and concern than the younger one. One way or another, but in a man a little worm is born that creates remorse in his consciousness, develops this sensation to a global scale.
In order to prevent an overwhelming sense of embarrassment and shame in front of their relatives, it is necessary to conduct analytical work on the current situation, to identify concrete ways to solve it.
- The first thing that should help in the settlementthe resulting misunderstanding - a constructive conversation. It is necessary to direct the conversation in such a way that it will clearly and clearly explain to the offended side the motives of the act, possible repentance and proposals for restoring warm relations.
- The second thing that I must understand for myself is the feeling of guiltman, is that if the opposing party does not come into contact because of some whim, envy and hatred, then perhaps one should not bother and reproach himself with remorse over the feelings of a person who does not deserve it.
Wines before the spouse
Even more ornate and complex way in attemptsto comprehend the truth of how to get rid of feelings of guilt is a feeling of shame before the beloved husband (beloved wife). The most common and often encountered problem in this regard is, of course, the discord associated with infidelity. The overwhelming sense of shame, disappointment in oneself, reproaches of conscience, connected with one's own betrayal and a passing weakness in the form of treason, can bring a person to a state of profound despair and the loss of any hopes of forgiveness from the side of a loved one and himself. Often in such situations, the final point in the matter is a divorce.
How to get rid of feelings of guilt, whichconstantly persecutes, does not allow to live and exist further? Broken dreams, stolen hopes, a disorganized family - all this provokes desperate steps, and the background to all this is the immense and heart-rending sense of guilt. What psychologists recommend:
- first, to accept the situation - what happened, what happened;
- secondly, to let go of a person who does not categorically come into contact after the incident - his obsession can only aggravate the situation;
- thirdly, wait time and try to apologizebefore someone who has been hurt - usually time intervals allow you to forget and get used to what happened, which in turn can help you get the long-awaited forgiveness.
Wines before those who are no more
How to get rid of feelings of guilt before the deadman? Strangely enough, but in life there are times when someone dies or untimely leaves the life, suddenly and suddenly, which entails certain feelings of guilt of loved ones or people familiar to him. I did not manage to see the last person who left the world for the last time, I could not reconcile and forget the old grievances, I could not overcome my pride and say to him "I'm sorry" - there can be a huge number of reasons. But this sensation densely enough sits in the subconscious of the sufferer and slowly but surely brings a person to horrible thoughts. How to get rid of a constant sense of guilt in this case? It is important to understand one point: a person has not become, he already does not really care whether his companion is tormented by conscientious pangs or not. For your own peace of mind, you can visit the grave of a friend who left this world, put a candle in the church, but in fact you will not be able to apologize, and therefore you do not have to blame yourself for blaming yourself.
Wines before the child
Often parents in their methods of raising childrenmake certain mistakes. How to get rid of feelings of guilt before the child? Here you can build a model of constructive conversation with a teenager, always placing emphasis on the fact that he is already quite an adult, a practically formed personality unit. Children love when parents talk to them on an equal footing, and do not flaunt their seniority and priority importance in the age and status category. Therefore, it is possible to eradicate the feeling of guilt towards one's own child by means of a simple thorough conversation, where the incorrect parental remarks and unjustified punishments or statements made earlier towards the child will be delineated.
Guilt in front of a friend
Another interesting topic forconsideration is the question of how to get rid of feelings of guilt in front of another. Of course, everything depends on the specific reason for the offense of one comrade to another. The psychology of friendly relations of our time says: never share with one another the same tastes for women, never have any financial affairs with him. Money and girls are two practically unforgivable and unallowable topics for the loan in friendship, so everything that concerns this is unlikely to be discussed or forgiven. As for other issues, they can always be settled with apologies, a bottle of good cognac, drunk together as a reconciliation and sincere friendly conversation. Then you will not have to feel guilty for too long.
Wines before colleagues
It's a little harder to build a conciliatory chainwith colleagues. Unfortunately, it often happens that people are potential rivals, working in the same team. This entails a lot of intrigues and gossip, directed against each other. Sometimes it happens that you communicate well with a colleague at work, work on an equal footing, and you are nominated for his candidacy or promoted instead - and then you feel some kind of awkwardness before this person. In this case, how to get rid of feelings of guilt? The psychology of human relations considers this situation in the perspective of the standard picture, when an adequate remaining "overboard" colleague will objectively assess the situation and accept it as it is, while maintaining good communication with a successful colleague on labor activity. If a person is biased, is able to go to conflicts, finding out the reasons for such castling in the staff, so there is no need to feel guilty to a colleague who is infantile and by nature envious.
Guilt in front of yourself
Sometimes disagreements arise even with their ownhis conscience. How to cope with the feelings of guilt that you feel towards yourself? After all, people often reproach themselves for the fact that "in that situation it was necessary to act like this", and "in this case it was necessary to behave differently". With itself, perhaps, to agree simply is simple: after all all thoughts, all arguments, all sensations sit only in the own subconsciousness.
General recommendations for getting rid of feelings of guilt
People often feel some awkwardness ordiscomfort in relationships with each other. How to cope with feelings of guilt? The general recommendations of specialists in the field of psychology are mainly aimed at following three generalized key aspects:
- constructive conversation between the participants in the conflict situation;
- work with your subconscious and objectivity in assessing the circumstances regarding the scale of the problems;
- the regulation of the state of affairs in the view of self-programming and adjustment to the result of the outcome, a dumb problem that hung in the air.
The very feeling of constant guiltis a negative background for a person's daily life. Only by getting rid of the burden of their own oppression, will people be able to learn to live and function in the context of those priorities that they seek, to which all their hopes and goals are entrusted. If you can not get rid of the guilt yourself, a psychologist will come to the rescue. Do not give up such support, because a specialist will really help you understand yourself.